Love Story

Our Modern Day Love Story Orchestrated by God

Here is "Our Story" that we wrote on the back of our wedding programs for our American Wedding on May 26, 2013...

Kind of crazy, isn’t it? How do two 36 year old singles with a heart for Africa, who have never been married, meet and fall in love in America in such a short amount of time? The answer is… God! Because what seems crazy to man, is just normal for God! Our love story is not really something either of us could have dreamed up.

We were born 4 days apart, but grew up on opposite coasts; Daneen on the East Coast in PA and Joe on the West Coast in AZ. Both of us had kind and loving parents who have been married to each other for around 40 years. Daneen enjoyed competing in gymnastics as a child while also working hard in school to help her dreams become a reality. Joe loved most sports, but eventually focused on basketball, learning that hard work could help him reach his goals.

Daneen went south for college to Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Florida while Joe went north to Dawson Community College and Rocky Mountain College in Montana. After college Daneen headed west to take her first job as a rocket scientist at Boeing in California and then Digital Globe in Longmont, CO. Joe moved east to coach college basketball at Northwestern State University in Louisiana and then at Charleston Southern University in Charleston, South Carolina. We were destined to be together some day, but it wasn’t yet time.

Both of us experienced many adventures in our young adult years, from skydiving, scuba diving, white water rafting, mission trips to developing countries, and travelling the world. Joe received salvation at a very early age while Daneen made that decision as an adult.

We both achieved success in our respective careers at very early ages; Daneen as a woman in the male dominated profession of engineering and Joe as a Division I basketball coach in the NCAA Tourney.

Both of us began feeling a call from God to go to Africa. Joe left his coaching career to move to Kenya in 2004 to work as a teacher, coach and administrator at a school for orphans called Christ’s Gift Academy (CGA) in the district with one of the highest HIV/AIDS rates in Africa (30%). Before going to Kenya, Joe attended Mission Training International and met a couple from Longmont named Don and Kristie Drage who were also moving to Kenya.

Daneen first visited Africa in 2005 on a mission trip to Kenya with LifeBridge Christian Church. Don and Kristie Drage hosted the team in Kenya. At the time, Kristie wondered how she could get Daneen to meet this single missionary guy living out on Lake Victoria on the western side of Kenya. It didn’t work out on that trip because it wasn’t yet God’s time. Later, Daneen left her engineering career to volunteer with Peace Corps in Zambia and then with Invisible Children and Scripture Union in Gulu, Uganda.

After returning from Uganda in 2011, Daneen had dinner at Don and Kristie’s house and Don mentioned this single missionary guy in Kenya. Daneen didn’t want to hear about someone in Africa because she was now back home in America. It still wasn’t time.

In June 2012, Daneen felt called to move to Portland and found a job with a non-profit that was providing college scholarships to students in Africa. When Joe came home on furlough in 2012, Don told him that when he travels through Portland he should invite this girl Daneen to listen to him share about Africa.

Paul and Joyce Maier were hosting a small reception for Joe to connect with some old friends from around Portland. When Daneen walked through the door that night, both of our lives were forever changed. We could ask why our paths never crossed during our younger years in the U.S., or while we were both living in Africa, but God’s timing and his way is always the best. We don’t regret not meeting until we were 36. Instead we are thankful that we met when we did and that we have the rest of our lives to be together.

Just two days before meeting Daneen, I told some friends that I was as content as I had ever been as a single man, and that maybe God’s plan for me was to remain single for the rest of my life. Both of us have met so many wonderful people in our lives, but it wasn’t until we found each other that we realized what we had been waiting for all of this time. During our adult years we have both gone through times of being very content in our singleness and other times when we just wanted to find a husband/wife. Some days it was easy while other days it was very tough, but both of us were patient in waiting for God’s best.

That special night in Portland on October 23^rd started with a friendly hug and ended with a long discussion on the possibility of our organizations partnering together to help some CGA students with college scholarships. That was the connection that allowed us to get together again two days later at Daneen’s work and began to build our relationship, starting with business and moving to more personal things.

It didn’t take long to feel a connection with each other and Joe asked Daneen to come and spend some time in CA before flying back to Kenya. After just a few days together, Daneen changed her flight back to Portland to stay longer in CA for Thanksgiving, and Joe postponed his flight back to Kenya so that he could visit her again in Portland and spend Christmas with her family in PA.

It hasn’t been a very typical relationship. We have only known each other for 7 months and 2 of those months we were half a world apart. But the rest of our time together has been intense. From our time in CA, OR, PA, Uganda, Kenya and CO we have been with each other almost every waking minute; we have seen each other through highs and lows in different settings and different seasons. It isn’t what we would have imagined; actually it is much better because it is exactly what God had imagined. Sure it is a little crazy, but so is leaving a successful career and moving to Africa. When you follow God, it is sometimes crazy, but it is sure to be an adventure!

We are excited for the adventure ahead!

      

(Joe's Version)

In the past 3 ½ months while I have been home on furlough, the most common question asked is, “Have you met someone special in your life yet?” Usually I respond by telling them that I am probably farther away from marriage then I have ever been in my life before. Even though I am not getting any younger, there was really nothing happening.Actually I haven’t really dated anyone in the past 8 years and really haven’t had a serious girlfriend since 16 years ago in college

Some of my own friends and family have accused me of being “too picky.”I don’t disagree with them about that, but tell them that if I have made it this far without being married, then why should I settle for something less than the best?I have seen my fair share of failed marriages and I would rather stay single than have to experience something like that.I have seen my own parents happily married for over 46 years and they seem to enjoy each other more and more all the time.That is what I want in my life and will not settle for anything less than that.

My parents have been praying for my future spouse since I was a baby and many other friends and family in America and in Kenya have joined them in praying for that throughout the years.Married people have told me so many times that when it comes, you will just know.I don’t know if I ever truly believed that until now!

My world was turned upside down 1 month ago on October 23^rd.As I have shared earlier, the story goes back much further than that to the time she was born, 4 days before I was born (May 1976).It was then that my parents began praying for her, 36 years before they had ever heard the name Daneen Leidig!

How did our lives finally intersect?Before I left for Kenya in 2003 I attended a pre-field training at Mission Training International in Colorado Springs, CO.I met a couple there named Don and Kristie Drage who were also preparing to go and serve in Kenya for a couple of years. A few months ago they sent me a message to tell me that when I go to Portland I should contact their friend who had just moved there recently.They said she had lived in Africa twice:Once while working with the Peace Corp in Zambia for 6 months and then later when working with high school students for Scripture Union in Uganda for 1 ½ years. They said she would probably be interested in hearing me speak about God’s work in Kenya.Daneen had been a great friend of theirs in Longmont, CO for many years before and after living in Africa and before she moved to Portland.

The second night I was in Portland we had planned a little reception at Paul and Joyce Maier’s house for some of my friends around the area.If I remember right, my first impression of Daneen when she showed up was, “Wow, she is really cute and full of energy and life.”After the chili dinner I gave a presentation and soon after Daneen tried to leave, but I told her that she was still young and single so there was no reason for her to leave so early.Luckily she stayed for another hour and shared more about her current job.She caught my attention when she explained that she was working for a non-profit called “These Numbers Have Faces” that helps provide college scholarships for students in Africa.We set up a meeting with Daneen and her boss to see about the possibility of partnering with their group.We went to their office a few days later and met with them for a couple of hours. After the meeting, I offered to treat them to lunch to thank them for their time, which I thought was a very solid cover for getting to spend more time with Daneen.During lunch there were a few touches, a couple of smiles and one or two comments that gave me hope that maybe she was as interested in me as I was in her.

After we left them, I told my friend two things I was thinking about…

1) Daneen would be such a huge benefit to Mbita and CGA.She would be incredible in Africa because she has lived there before, understands the culture well, has an adorable American African accent and has experience and a passion for mentoring teenage girls in that setting.

2) I really want to get to know her better because I can envision us having a future together!

So I asked Joyce what should come first, inviting Daneen to come and serve in Mbita or pursuing a relationship with her.We never really had a good answer for that question, but I think we know the answer now.

After I left Portland I only had a few weeks to prepare for my return to Kenya on November 24^th.Daneen and I started an ongoing conversation through text messages and e-mails which started with business stuff and gradually shifted to more personal things.Each one seemed to get longer and longer.We began discussing some pretty deep things about our backgrounds, families, former careers, personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses, our spiritual journeys and life in Africa as a single missionary.Once the conversations started migrating towards marriage and family, I figured it was time to start talking over the phone, or maybe in person.

So I called Daneen and told her that I knew this was a little crazy and maybe didn’t make a lot of sense, but that I was interested in her and thought that maybe she was also interested in me.I wanted to spendmore time with her before I go back to Kenya to see if this was something more than just friendship.So I offered to fly her down to Southern California to hang out with me for a few days. Her end of the phone went silent and I thought that maybe I had moved a little too fast and scared her off; so I told her not to worry about giving me an answer immediately.Finally she responded by saying that she was very shocked, but her next words were music to my ears, “I wish you could see how big my smile is right now.”Whew! That was a relief.We talked a little about the craziness of it and the next morning we found tickets!It was really simple and easy like everything has seemed to work out during this process. I told her that we shouldn’t put much pressure on ourselves when she comes down.We wanted to be friends, have some fun together and enjoy each other’s company.

When I picked her up in San Diego I remember telling her early on that with my personality sometimes it takes a while for me to warm up to things.For example, I almost never like a song or TV show the first time I experience it.And the same is usually true in friends and relationships.It takes me a while to feel that close bond, but once I do, it is long lasting.At the time I had no idea it would only take me about 2 days in Daneen’s case.Each day with her seemed to get better and better.

On the 4^th day, we went sailing with my brother Sam.Right as we got on the boat Sam’s wife Sally started talking with me.She was suggesting that I invite Daneen to change her ticket and stay all the way through Thanksgiving and Sam was suggesting that I should change my ticket back to Kenya and stay in America through Christmas time.I didn’t say much, but I began thinking about both of those ideas.We had a great day on the boat.There wasn’t much wind which led to some slow sailing, but it was a perfect, beautiful day.I can’t think of a much better way to spend 6 hours than that!

The next day we changed Daneen’s flight so that she could stay for another week and go back to Portland after Thanksgiving. That night we had an incredible evening together and spent the whole night talking about anything and everything.In fact, the whole week had been like that.

Some of the best times we had was during all the driving we were doing.Sometimes we would leave the radio off and talk the whole way.Other times we would crank up the music and sing at the top of our lungs.Other times we would just sit in silence and enjoy each other’s presence.

Earlier that day my dad had sent me a short e-mail saying…

You and Daneen have been on our minds and in our prayers all day, even in church this morning. I remember how all of a sudden my life changed the summer of 1965 when I met Mom. What a blessing she has been to me! No decision I ever made other than my decision to follow Christ ever has mattered more to me or affected my life more.

We're praying for you both and praying "not our will, but Yours, be done, O Lord our Strength and our Redeemer."

Love you so very much,

Dad and Mom

What great timing.I was beginning to think that my life was changing forever!

The next day I had to take a short trip to Montana for one more speaking engagement.On the way I contacted the missionary couple that had first connected us. I thanked Don and told him that things were going so well (and fast) and wanted to hear more from him about Daneen’s character since he knew her so well.When he began sharing, it was exactly the same Daneen that I had come to know in our short time together.I think the one thing I love most about her is that she is so real and sincere.She doesn’t pretend to be someone she is not; she shares her strengths and weaknesses, her struggles and challenges and doesn’t play games at all.Don’s words were very reassuring.And I invited him (and I also invite all of you who are taking the time to read this long story) to please feel free to share any wise counsel, advice or comments with Daneen or me or both of us.We want to hear from other people, especially those that are praying with us.

Coming back to California on the day before Thanksgiving, Daneen picked me up at the airport, but everything was different now. Meeting Daneen in the airport felt like meeting my best friend and soul-mate.48 hours apart seemed like an eternity and I couldn’t wait to see her and share everything that had happened while we were apart.The drive home took twice as long as usual because of the holiday traffic, but neither of us seemed to mind.In fact I kind of hoped it would take longer so that we could get more time alone together.

I informed her I was working on postponing my return to Kenya and pushing it back a month so that I could have more time with her. I told her that when I invited her down to California, it was because I wanted to get to know her better before I went back to Kenya, but that I still feel like I want to get to know her much more before leaving the continent.I postponed the flight for a few reasons:

1)I wanted to get to know her better, including her life in Portland and her family in Pennsylvania
2)I wanted her to know that she was more important to me than my job or ministry
3)God seemed to be moving mightily and I didn’t want to miss out on his plans or stand in His way!

A couple of side notes… Two months ago I had a thought that I might need to extend my time in America a little longer. I had no idea why, but God had begun preparing my heart at that time.Just today I talked with Steve and Judi Cochran who I have worked with for 9 years in Mbita at CGA and they told me that months ago they had started praying that I would extend my time in the States and stay through the month of December, even though they never said anything to me.Maybe they didn’t even know why they were praying that, but God did!

We had a great couple of days with family and after bidding them goodbye I drove her to San Diego to catch her flight.Before leaving we enjoyed an intimate seafood dinner on the water at Seaport Village.As we held hands across the small table, nibbling on crab cakes, I told her what I had already known for about a week…that I loved her!

If somebody would have told me a month ago that you could fall in love with someone in less than a month, I would have told them that they were crazy.Not anymore. I’ve never been too eager to call it “falling in love” because I think love is more of an action and a decision.Even in this case, it seems that God has orchestrated these circumstances to bring us together and enabled us to mutually feel this connection. It’s less of a magical infatuation and more of a miracle from God.

So she is now back in Portland and we will be apart for the next week which is hard, but probably a good thing.I will be visiting Portland December 3-17.We already have plans to do some pre-marital counseling and to go shopping for an engagement ring.Then I will come back home for a week before joining her at her parent’s house in Pennsylvania on Christmas Eve up until the time I fly out to Kenya on December 30.She will hopefully be coming to Uganda for work next March and then will spend some time in Kenya after she finishes.We have already begun discussing marriage and life after.There could be a wedding on the horizon early next summer and we will start our lives together in Mbita, Kenya.

The story is absolutely amazing how God has orchestrated all of these events to bring us together in His perfect timing. If it would have happened 5 or 10 years ago, it probably wouldn’t have worked out, but right now it just seems like a Cinderella Story.I was able to meet her at the end of my furlough which gave me more time to get to know her (especially with this extra month now).And she has been in a bit of transition since returning from Uganda over a year ago, and then moving to Portland to take a new job.

Daneen is an incredible woman.She loves the Lord and has an intimate growing relationship with Him!She is so personable and warm.She has a fun personality and loves having a good time, making me laugh and laughing at my stupid jokes.She seems to know how to fit in to almost any situation.She lives her whole life with passion.She is very intelligent (She used to be a Rocket Scientist).She is very simple and doesn’t need much, but appreciates whatever she does have.She is very affectionate with her touch and very encouraging with her words.And finally, she is more than beautiful.Her golden blonde hair glistens in the sun. She has the athletic body of a gymnast (which she was) and her smile can light up the darkest places in the world. I get lost while gazing in her eyes and the feel of her soft skin is a taste of heaven.She has added a lot of spice to my boring life.

I am so excited about what lies ahead.It is a partnership and companionship; sharing our lives together.Building “our” home and creating “our”ministry together.I have told her that I don’t know what our future holds or where we will live or what we will be doing, but I know we will be doing it together. God has provided for us and guided both of us individually for so long and has now begun guiding us together in His perfect timing.Ten years ago neither one of us would have dreamed we would be doing what we are doing right now.She was following her dream to be an astronaut while I was following my dream to be a college basketball coach.God changed those dreams for both of us and gave us a new direction in life.Now he is fulfilling our wildest dreams of finding someone special to share our lives with.God has used us individually to do great things to advance His kingdom in the past 10 years, and I can’t even imagine the things he has in store for us to do together.Two are better than one!Satan is worried and we need your prayers more than ever at this time!

Thanks for being a part of “Our Modern Day Love Story Orchestrated by God.”

Our love story.
(Daneen's Version)

“Fairy Tales Can Come True, It Can Happen To You“ ~Frank Sinatra

For years, I have disliked romantic comedies and love story films.Appalled with Hollywood and filmmakers who create impossible scenarios on how people find love and “live happily ever after.” I’ve allowed my own life’s realities and upsets to make me jaded toward the possibility of true love stories actually being possible.Yet, deep down, I still longed for my own unbelievable love story to come true someday; for my Prince to romance me like I’m a Princess. Yet, I tried to convince myself that only happens the the movies and fairy tales.

Thankfully, God writes real love stories. And that’s our story.

It’s a story of God’s great, powerful, relentless, faithful and abounding love for us.A story that without God’s direction and guidance, wouldn’t have been possible.A story that needs and deserves God to receive all the Glory!We Praise Jesus for it all!

If you wonder about this God of ours and if He really can answer prayers and live up to the Throne He sits on... we hope our story will help you see the power of His love!

Joe lives in Mbita, Kenya; along the shores of Lake Victoria.

I live in Portland, Oregon; among the Cascade mountains.

Worlds apart; literally.

He teaches Math and Bible at Christ’s Gift Academy (www.cga.org), takes care of much admin work, oversees CGA’s secondary school program and coaches a community girl’s soccer (www.subalakers.com) team.

I work for These Numbers Have Faces (www.thesenumbers.org) focusing on providing college students with scholarships and raising up future leaders in Africa; specifically, in South Africa and Rwanda.

Together, we cover pre-school through university!:-)

Before going to Africa....

Joe was one of the youngest assistant coaches in college basketball when his Northwestern State (LA) team reached the NCCA March Madness tournament.But God had bigger plans for him beyond his successful career in basketball.

I was...well, you know... a rocket scientist. But God knew my heart was made for a life serving and loving others, working with youth and being involved in the community.

We have both prayed - for years and years! - and desired to have a life partner; a teammate; a best friend to do life and ministry together.And we know, and are grateful for, many of our friends who have prayed with us for our future spouse.

When you’re both 36 and single, you might be known for being picky; but I think it’s better described that we both knew what God wanted for us and kept trusting and believing that He does have His very best waiting for us.

God did.

We met in Portland, Oregon on Oct 23^rd, 2012.

Joe was in the States for 3 months visiting family, friends and traveling around the country sharing stories and updates of the ministry of CGA with various supporters and churches.

Our mutual and wonderful friend (and best match-maker on Earth!) Don, connected us.Telling us we would each enjoy hearing about each other’s work and experiences in East Africa.Joe has spent 9 years in Kenya and I lived 6 months in Zambia and 1.5 years in Uganda.

Portland wasn’t a city Joe’s visited frequently during his trips Stateside.In fact, this was only his second time.I moved to Portland only 5 months ago... without a job, but sensing and believing that God had something waiting for me in Portland!He did- I now have a wonderful job that is a huge blessing. But even with a job I love, I had been struggling with wanting to settle here and dig my heels into friendships/relationships, a church and more. I’ve had feelings of being unsettled. For weeks, before I ever met Joe, I was trying hard to work through this unsettledness and ask God to show me why I was struggling to “fit in” in Portland, accept it as my new home, and get involved in the community in typical Daneen fashion; passionately feet first 100%. Now, I wonder if God was just protecting my heart and preparing me for something else he had for me; something larger than I could have dreamed up on my own!

I went to a dinner gathering where Joe shared with a small group of old friends from various stages of his life.Before I could leave, he wanted to hear more about These Numbers Have Faces.CGA has been supporting students through secondary school and are figuring out how to continue to support their best and brightest to go on to university.

Two days later, Joe and Joyce (CGA board member) came to our office to chat in more detail about best practices for raising up leaders in Africa to change their countries.Joe was trying to find a way to spend more time with me (it’s true), so he invited us to lunch.We had an enjoyable time at lunch with some cute “nudges” expressing our interest in each other. We finished lunch. I would email him some information about our program.

We said goodbye.He hugged me!

He was leaving Portland the next day and would be leaving for Kenya in 4 weeks.

The End.

 

Nope... Just the beginning!!!

Ministry/work related emails quickly turned personal and we both started sharing very naturally and openly about the challenges of life and work in Africa and America and trying to do it well.Emails turned into text messages and then into phone calls.

Two weeks into the long, open and honest emails, Joe called me and invited me to come to California, where he was staying with his family.His intentions: for us to spend time together before he went back to Kenya for another 2 years and to explore the possibility that maybe there was something worth pursing between us.After some silence on the phone because I was speechless and truly stunned by his offer, I replied “you should know I’m smiling”! I later said “Yes” and he bought my ticket.

I flew to Cali for 5 days. From the beginning, we had a really fun time together.It was easy and super comfortable to be around each other! Every day got better and better.Two days before I was supposed to leave, he asked me to stay longer.To stay through Thanksgiving and until Saturday when he would fly back to Kenya.Again, I was very stunned but this time he could see the smile on my face.I said “Yes”and we changed my flight to leave after his flight to Kenya the next Saturday.

I would stay for an extra 5 days, but he would be flying to Montana for 2 of those for one last fundraising trip.It was actually great timing; like everything in our story.It was valuable time apart and gave us the opportunity to step back, embrace and process all that had happened in the previous week.To pray and seek good counsel.Make sure we were being wise and not foolish.We each spoke with our mentors and people we look to for wise counsel in our lives.No one...not one... had reservations.Instead they saw the Lord’s hand and offered to continue in prayer for us.

When Joe came back from Montana he had missed me terribly!Really, he did!:-)He brought back the sweetest and most thoughtful gifts for me....but there was a better gift.He decided he wanted to delay his return to Kenya. He wanted to spend another month with me!He wanted to come see me up in Portland and go to Pennsylvania for Christmas to meet my parents!

Again...stunned.But smiling as the tears welled up.After a day of thinking it through and more prayer, on Thanksgiving Day, we changed his flight, booked flights to Portland and Baltimore and changed one of my flights to coincide with his.Everything lined up so well.Ideal dates were available and costs were minimal; including one flight costing $5 after using miles!!Someone wanted us to spend more time together!:-)

Is this all really true? Is this real?We both kept asking ourselves.Yet we knew-- it felt more right and more real than anything we had each ever known!!Ever!

We both had a great sense of peace.Peace, that in the midst of a nearly unbelievable whirlwind love story, brings clear guidance that this IS from the Lord.

Joe has continued to amaze me at his courageous acts to lead us and listen to where God is directing us. Courageous, yet in the most humble way.

I have even been amazed at myself and how, through the Spirit’s leading, I have fully trusted and respected Joe’s leading and not needed to jump-in with my own plans or ideas. I simply recognize his honor and character and fully respect it!For a single, independent and confident girl who loves to plan...that’s huge.Only through Jesus does it all make sense!

We now have another 3 weeks together.To continue to prayerfully walk through this incredible courtship and await the beautiful future that Jesus is planning!

Are we foolish for believing this love story to be true so quickly?Not one bit.For 3 clear reasons:

1. As it’s often said, “when you know, you know”...We Know!!!

2. We both have a perfect peace that comes from the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

3. Jesus has been the one to orchestrate every detail; starting with us managing to meet, our mutual love for Africa and combined work experience in the region, our balance of gifts and even how we both love to rock out in the car to 80’s, Worship or country music - never listening to a full song before wanting a new one! :-)

When God is ready to move- He Moves!

When God is in the center of the lives of two people who have allowed Jesus to mold them into the individuals He desires- He Rewards!

When two people continue to earnestly seek the Lord’s guidance for their lives, no matter what their hearts might desire- He Gives Us the Desires of Our Hearts.

It all simply fits and is the greatest blessing the Lord’s provided in both of our lives! We’re both confident and convinced God has a life-long story planned for us!!

Two is better than one!

And... sometimes... you just need to listen to Taylor Swift and trust your instincts, “It’s a love story. Baby, just say Yes!”

Jesus has brought me my Prince.And I feel like a Princess.

I suppose Cinderella stories can come true!

So....

That’s our love story.

But really...

It’s God’s Love Story for us!

All the Glory Be To God!

Our Modern Day Love Story Orchestrated by God
(Joe's Full Version)

In the past 3 ½ months while I have been home on furlough, the most common question asked is, “Have you met someone special in your life yet?” Usually I respond by telling them that I am probably farther away from marriage then I have ever been in my life before. Even though I am not getting any younger, there was really nothing happening. Actually I haven’t really dated anyone in the past 8 years and really haven’t had a serious girlfriend since 16 years ago in college. I usually go on to explain that I am okay with being single. When I gave up my career as a college basketball coach, sold most of my belongings and left Charlestonin 2003 to move to Kenya, I was in the prime of my life. I was 27 and attending a great church with many wonderful young single women that love the Lord and there were one or two that had caught my fancy, but I had no doubts that God was calling me to live in Kenya. I even realized at the time that this move could greatly affect my own plan of being married before 30. At the same time, I trusted God that He knew what was best for me and that I wouldn’t be disappointed in following Him, even if it meant following him to rural Africa. In my nine years serving in Mbita, there have been some girls in Kenya andAmericathat I have been interested in and others that have been interested in me, but the timing, circumstances and other factors never quite worked out. But in all honesty, I think over the last year or so I have been so content in my singleness and have openly wondered if maybe I might stay single for the rest of my life. Though I was pretty certain that God hadn’t given me the gift of celibacy, I still had great joy and peace in serving the Lord and living out my life as a single person.

When I come home to America, it usually reignites some of those desires to find a life-long partner as I spend much time around family and friends throughout the country. Most of them have such incredible marriages and loving families which makes me also want to experience that in my own life. And it seems like most of the people I meet when I come back have someone they know that they want to hook me up with. I have contacted some of those people through e-mail or phone and in some cases have been on some blind dates. That has given me the opportunity to meet some wonderful people, but again, because of timing, circumstances and other factors, nothing ever panned out.

Some of my own friends and family have accused me of being “too picky.” I don’t disagree with them about that, but tell them that if I have made it this far without being married, then why should I settle for something less than the best? I have seen my fair share of failed marriages and I would rather stay single than have to experience something like that. I have seen my own parents happily married for over 46 years and they seem to enjoy each other more and more all the time. That is what I want in my life and will not settle for anything less than that.

I remember back to the 1990s when I attended a Promise Keeper’s conference with my dad. I can’t recall what any of the speakers said, but I do remember what my dad told me during a break in the conference. He said that most people spend their lives searching for the right person instead of being the right person. I have thought about that a lot since that moment. I can’t say that I haven’t been looking at all, but I can say that I have focused on following God’s will for my life and serving him wholeheartedly in whatever responsibility I have been given. I have worked on growing closer to Him and being faithful to the roles that he has given me. I have learned to be content in my circumstances. I have found much joy and peace in Him during my singleness. Sometimes that is easier to do than at other times, but it is all part of the refining process. Through all of that I have continued to trust that if it is God’s will for me to marry, that he will bring the right girl at the right time.

My parents have been praying for my future spouse since I was a baby and many other friends and family in Americaand in Kenyahave joined them in praying for that throughout the years. I have also been praying for that myself throughout my adult life. I have prayed that God would prepare me for that time so that I would be ready to be the husband and father that He has called me to be. I want to provide, protect, empower and lead my future wife. I’ve been praying that I would be willing to lay down my life for her the way that Christ laid down his life for His bride the church. I’ve prayed that I would be the kind of man that she would be attracted to and desire for a husband. I’ve asked God that my future wife would be someone with whom I could partner, that could enhance my life and enhance the work that God has called me to do for Him. I’ve prayed for a best friend that I can spend the rest of my life with through the peaks and valleys in this world. Finally, my prayers were that if this was God’s will for me, that there would be no doubt in my mind of what that person was when she finally did arrive. Married people have told me so many times that when it comes, you will just know. I don’t know if I ever truly believed that until now!

My world was turned upside down on October 23^rd. As I have shared earlier, the story goes back much further than that to the time she was born, 4 days before I was born (May 1976). It was then that my parents began praying for her, 36 years before they had ever heard the name Daneen Leidig!

How did our lives finally intersect? Before I left for Kenya in 2003, at the recommendation of my Missions Pastor at SeacoastChurch, I attended a pre-field training at Mission Training International in Colorado Springs, CO. There was a retired couple there named Don and Kristie Drage who were also preparing to go and serve in Kenya for a couple of years. Our whole group grew very close during those three weeks together, but Don and Kristie spent extra time with the 7 singles that were there. During their two years in Kenya we saw each other a few times and enjoyed catching up when I would travel to Nairobi. A few months ago they sent me a message to tell me that when I go to Portland I should contact their friend who had just moved there recently. They said she had lived in Africa twice: Once while working with the Peace Corp in Zambia for 6 months and then later when working with high school students for Scripture Union in Uganda for 1 ½ years. They said she would probably be interested in hearing me speak about God’s work in Kenya. Daneen had been a great friend of theirs in Longmont, CO for many years before and after living in Africa and before she moved to Portland.

The second night I was in Portland we had planned a little reception at Paul and Joyce Maier’s house for some of my friends around the area including my high school basketball coach’s family, a good friend from Junior College, and another great friend from Charleston, and Daneen. It was a random group where nobody knew anyone else except for me. If I remember right, my first impression of Daneen when she showed up was, “Wow, she is really cute and full of energy and life.” She fit in seamlessly with the others there. After the chili dinner I gave a presentation with some stories about CGA and the Suba Lakers. Soon after that, Coach Heyen needed to leave before it got too late so that he could bring his family home which was two hours away, and Daneen also started to act like she needed to leave. I told her that she was still young and single so there was no reason for her to leave so early. Luckily she stayed for another hour and shared more about her current job. She caught my attention when she explained that she was working for a non-profit called “These Numbers Have Faces” that helps provide college scholarships for students in Africa. Our host, Joyce, had spent much time in Mbita with her husband Paul and is currently serving on the CGA board and as CGA’s sponsorship coordinator. So we set up a meeting with Daneen and her boss to see about the possibility of partnering with their group. Joyce and I went to their office a few days later and met with them for a couple of hours. After the meeting, I offered to treat them to lunch to thank them for their time, which I thought was a very solid cover for getting to spend more time with Daneen. During lunch there were a few touches, a couple of smiles and one or two comments that gave me hope that maybe she was as interested in me as I was in her.

After we left them, I told Joyce the two things I was thinking about…
1) Daneen would be such a huge benefit to Mbita and CGA. She would be incredible in Africa because she has lived there before, understands the culture well, has an adorable American African accent and has experience and a passion for mentoring teenage girls in that setting .

2) I really want to get to know her better because I can envision us having a future together!

So I asked Joyce what should come first, inviting Daneen to come and serve in Mbita or pursuing a relationship with her. We never really had a good answer for that question, but I think we know the answer now.

Let me backtrack a little bit to a few days before I went to Portland. When I was in Montana, there was a time when I was feeling a little down about how things were going. I was about halfway through my furlough and wasn’t seeing a lot of fruit from my efforts. I had visited with a lot of people and shared with many groups, but things weren’t quite working out like I had hoped. At the same time I had gone out on a couple of “dates” with some great girls that any guy would be blessed to have in his life, but because of timing, circumstances and other factors I didn’t feel like I should pursue them. I was sharing some of these frustrations with my friends Dave and Kylie. I told them that I didn’t really understand what God was doing in all of it, but I wanted to continue trusting Him. I prayed a lot that week for His will to be done. I told God that when I can’t comprehend what He is doing or even if I disagree with what is happening, that I trust Him to provide for me, the ministries I serve and for my future. He is still the Lord of my life and I want Him to have total control. I would continue to be obedient and leave the results to Him. Very soon after that, I began feeling God’s blessings in an abundance that just overwhelms me!

Dave and Kylie were asking me what I was looking for in a girl. I don’t remember my exact response to them but it was something like this… I want a girl who is spiritually and emotionally mature, passionate for God and for life in general, someone who is outgoing and fun to be around, a girl who is a little independent, but is willing to go wherever God might call, even if that meant going to Africa. I want to be attracted to her and for her to be affectionate. The final thing I said was that as a man I was ready to pursue the right girl when she comes around, but she better be open to my pursuit and be able to encourage me in that area because if not, my tendency is to think that it must not be God’s will and I would just stop pursuing her. Who knew that 48 hours later I would be meeting the person that perfectly fits that description? I bet Dave and Kylie, along with so many others, were really praying for that to happen!

Flashback to me leaving Portland… After I left Portland I spent a few days in Seattle and then finally flew back home to Southern California. It was pretty much the end of my travelling and speaking, and I had a few weeks left in CA to start preparing for my return to Kenya on November 24^th. Daneen and I started an ongoing conversation through text messages and e-mails which started with business stuff about our organizations partnering together and gradually shifted to more personal things. Each one seemed to get longer and longer. We began discussing some pretty deep things about our backgrounds, families, former careers, personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses, our spiritual journeys and life in Africa as a single missionary. Once the conversations started migrating towards marriage and family, I figured it was time to start talking over the phone. I was tired of writing long e-mails and I also think some things are easier said out loud than typed. I called Joyce and shared with her my idea of inviting Daneen down to spend a little time with me before I leave for Kenya, and she gave me a big thumbs up.

So I called Daneen the next day to find out what her plans were for Thanksgiving. I told her that I knew this was a little crazy and maybe didn’t make a lot of sense but that I was interested in her and thought that maybe she was also interested in me. I told her that I would love to spend some more time with her before I go back to Kenya to see if this was just a good friendship or if there might be something more in the future. So I told her I would be willing to fly her down to Southern California if she wouldn’t mind hanging out with me for a few days. There were two possibilities; either November 14-19 or during Thanksgiving weekend November 21-24 (the day I was scheduled to leave for Kenya). Her end of the phone went silent and I thought that maybe I had moved a little too fast and scared her off; so I told her not to worry about giving me an answer immediately. She could take a day or two to think about it and pray about it. Finally she responded by saying that she was very shocked, but her next words were music to my ears, “I wish you could see how big my smile is right now.” Whew! That was a relief. We talked a little about the craziness of it and agreed to sleep on it and discuss it more in the morning.

We found tickets for the 14^th-19^th the next morning! It was really simple and easy like everything has seemed to work out during this process. I told her that we shouldn’t put much pressure on ourselves when she comes down. We wanted to be friends, have some fun together and enjoy each other’s company. I didn’t want to start “dating” right away and get caught up in the attraction, excitement and emotions of being in a relationship which can sometimes cloud your thinking. I wanted both of us to be able to honestly look at each other, especially our character and personality to see if this was something to pursue. I know sometimes in relationships I tend to think too practically and overanalyze everything. I told her that the worst thing that could happen is we realize we are not “right” for each other and just remain as good friends. I began praying that when she came, we would both feel the same way about each other. We would both feel strongly that we should pursue something or that we would both agree it wasn’t anything more than a friendship.

Day 1-I picked her up in San Diego and we headed out to Cabrillo Park in Point Loma to see the tide pools and enjoy the cliffs by the ocean. I remember telling her early on that with my personality sometimes it takes a while for me to warm up to things. For example, I almost never like a song or TV show the first time I experience it. And the same is usually true in friends and relationships. It takes me a while to feel that close bond, but once I do, it is long lasting. At the time I had no idea it would only take me about 2 days in Daneen’s case. Later on we went to my brother’s boat (which is his home) and enjoyed some time with Sam and Sally and their two little kids. The first thing Daneen did was get on the ground and begin playing with Zachary (4 ½) and Kylie (almost 3). It didn’t take long for my niece and nephew to fall in love with her. After dinner we drove to Hemet for dessert with my parents and to call it a night. Sally sent me a text message later asking what I thought of her (because they already loved her so much). My response that first night was that she seems really awesome but that I still was not sure.

Day 2- We drove out to Huntington Beach to catch up with a Dutch friend of mine from Kenya (Bob) and also some of Daneen’s friends. She lived in Huntington Beach for a few years after college when she was working for Boeing as a Rocket Scientist. We had a nice walk on the beach and the pier and then a wonderful lunch with Bob. She met up with a former colleague in the afternoon and then we got together for dinner with about 10 of her friends from her time in Gulu, Uganda. After dinner we said our goodbyes and decided to go to a comedy club. Some of the humor wasn’t so clean, but it was a fun time and Daneen seemed able to fit in and adapt about everywhere she goes.           

Day 3- Nothing big was planned for the day except a little shopping to get a few things to take back to Kenya. We rested a little bit and had some time with my parents. That night we drove up to Riverside after dinner to enjoy a play called the 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. The play was really good, very light, fun and humorous. Up to that point we hadn’t moved past the friendship stage. I stuck my arm out to escort her up to the theatre and I began putting my arm around her a few times. On the way home, she might have grabbed my hand in the car as we were driving. When we got home we turned on the Lakers game I had recorded and watched a little basketball and began cuddling a little. After the game the TV was turned off and we sat up for a couple of hours talking and sharing with each other. Each day with her seemed to get better and better. 

Day 4-After breakfast we headed out for San Diego. My brother was competing in a sailboat race and we were invited to come aboard and be spectators on the boat. Right as we got on the boat Sally started talking with me. She was suggesting that I invite Daneen to change her ticket and stay all the way through Thanksgiving and Sam was suggesting that I should change my ticket back to Kenya and stay in America through Christmas time. I didn’t say much, but I began thinking about both of those ideas. We had a great day on the boat. There wasn’t much wind which led to some slow sailing, but it was a perfect, beautiful day. I can’t think of a much better way to spend 6 hours than that! A couple of my brother’s friends, Justin and Emily, came to eat dinner with us on the boat later that evening. We had a wonderful time with them and then they took Daneen home with them to spend the night, and I stayed on the boat to sleep.

Day 5-We went to church and then hiked down to the Ocean at Torrey Pines with my brother’s family. That afternoon we worked on changing Daneen’s flight so that she could stay for another week and go back to Portland after Thanksgiving. Luckily, she has a great boss who allowed her to stay away from work for an extra two days. In celebration I decided I wanted to treat her to a special night. After dark we took the ferry from Coronado into San Diego with the lights of the city leading the way. When reaching the mainland we hired a bicycle carriage to bring us to the Hyatt. We rode the elevator up the 40 floors to the top so we could enjoy a drink overlooking the city. We proceeded back down and walked to the Gaslamp District to find dinner. We shared some wonderful cuisine at Ostera Fishhouse and spent the whole night talking about anything and everything. In fact, the whole week had been like that.

Some of the best times we had was during all the driving we were doing. Sometimes we would leave the radio off and talk the whole way. Other times we would crank up the music and sing at the top of our lungs. Other times we would just sit in silence and enjoy each other’s presence. After dinner we rushed to catch the last ferry back to Coronado. We arrived a few minutes early for the last Saturday night ferry. The only problem was that it was Sunday night and the last ferry had left an hour earlier. Oops. I felt like an idiot. I am usually organized and prepared, but I think I was so focused on Daneen that I didn’t confirm the times well enough. She didn’t seem to mind at all, but we had to get a taxi to drive us over the bridge to Coronado Island to get my car. It had been such a perfect night, I was sad that it didn’t end perfectly.

Earlier that day my dad had sent me a short e-mail saying…

You and Daneen have been on our minds and in our prayers all day, even in church this morning. I remember how all of a sudden my life changed the summer of 1965 when I met Mom. What a blessing she has been to me! No decision I ever made other than my decision to follow Christ ever has mattered more to me or affected my life more.

We're praying for you both and praying "not our will, but Yours, be done, O Lord our Strength and our Redeemer."
Love you so very much,

Dad and Mom

What great timing. I was beginning to think that my life was changing forever!

Day 6 and 7- We drove up to Santa Ana so I could catch my afternoon flight back to Montana for 48 hours. She left me at the airport and took my dad’s car to Huntington Beach to stay with her friends while I was gone. It had been a pretty intense 6 days together and was probably good for both of us to get a little break so that we could step back and look at things from a different perspective. During those 48 hours I began e-mailing some of my prayer warriors to let them know what was going on and request their prayers, and I called a few key people that I felt I should talk to about the whole situation. One of them was the missionary couple that had first connected us. I thanked Don and told him that things were going so well (and fast) and wanted to hear more from him about Daneen’s character since he knew her so well. When he began sharing, it was exactly the same Daneen that I had come to know in our short time together. I think the one thing I love most about her is that she is so real and sincere. She doesn’t pretend to be someone she is not; she shares her strengths and weaknesses, her struggles and challenges and doesn’t play games at all. Don’s words were very reassuring. And I invited him (and I also invite all of you who are taking the time to read this long story) to please feel free to share any wise counsel, advice or comments with Daneen or me or both of us. We want to hear from other people, especially those that are praying with us. Knowing how fast things were moving, I have been worried that people would be very cautious about it. But so far everyone with whom I have talked has been so encouraging. In fact, the ones who have met her and spent time with her (Paul, Joyce and my family) are even helping to push me to move forward even quicker!

My time in Montana was a whirlwind. The church I spoke at was so welcoming and that is another God-story that I will save for another time. One of the benefits of going back to Montana was reconnecting with Dave and Kylie Brost. Dave and I have been best friends since college and I had stayed with them for about 3 ½ weeks in October while I was travelling around Montana. This time when I came back, they were reminding me of some of the conversations we had the previous month and how God has been moving during this whole time.

Day 8-Coming back to California on the day before Thanksgiving, Daneen picked me up at the airport to go meet with my Kenyan landlord who lives in America, and then fight the holiday traffic back to Hemet to join my family for the a Day of Thanks. Everything was different now when I was coming back. Meeting Daneen in the airport felt like meeting my best friend and soul-mate. 48 hours apart seemed like an eternity and I couldn’t wait to see her and share everything that had happened while we were apart. The drive home took twice as long as usual because of the traffic, but neither of us seemed to mind. In fact I kind of hoped it would take longer so that we could get more time alone together.

I gave her a calendar with a note in each month as a gift from Montana. I can’t remember all of what I wrote, except that I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her while I was away. Reality is that I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I knew how she loved mountains and Montana certainly has a lot of them. I asked her to remember me every day of the next year, and that each day with her seemed to get better and better. I also told her I was working on postponing my return to Kenya and pushing it back a month so that I could have more time with her. If I remember right, she started kissing my hand (as I was driving) and shedding tears (which isn’t unusual for her). I told her that when I invited her down to California, it was because I wanted to get to know her better before I went back to Kenya, but that I still feel like I want to get to know her much more before leaving the continent. I postponed the flight for a few reasons:

1) I wanted to get to know her better, including her life in Portland and her family in Pennsylvania
2)I wanted her to know that she was more important to me than my job or ministry
3)God seemed to be moving mightily and I didn’t want to miss out on his plans or stand in His way!

A couple of side notes… Two months ago I had a thought that I might need to extend my time in America a little longer. I had no idea why, but God had begun preparing my heart at that time. Just today I talked with Steve and Judi Cochran who I have worked with for 9 years in Mbita at CGA and they told me that months ago they had started praying that I would extend my time in the States and stay through the month of December, even though they never said anything to me. Maybe they didn’t even know why they were praying that, but God did!

Days 9 and 10- We didn’t do much the next couple of days except for enjoy time with my family in Hemet. A lot of time was spent sitting around and talking, eating, and playing with my niece and nephew. Daneen fit in so well. It was like she had been part of the family for many years. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much my family loves her and adores her, especially my nephew Zachary. After everybody went to bed on Friday night, we ended up staying up an extra 4 hours talking and sharing with each other about a myriad of things. The funniest part is the next morning at breakfast she told my parents that we stayed up on the couch until 2:30 am the night before. Now you see what I mean about her being so open and real with everyone, even her boyfriend’s parents.

Day 11-After lunch my sister-in-law, Sally, prayed for Daneen with the family gathered around and they bid her goodbye. I drove her to San Diego and we had some time together in town, walking along the waterfront and around Seaport Village. We enjoyed an intimate seafood dinner on the water at the Pier Cafe. As we held hands across the small table, nibbling on crab cakes, I told her what I had already known for about a week…that I loved her!

If somebody would have told me a month ago that you could fall in love with someone in less than a month, I would have told them that they were crazy. Not anymore. I’ve never been too eager to call it “falling in love” because I think love is more of an action and a decision. Even in this case, it seems that God has orchestrated these circumstances to bring us together and enabled us to mutually feel this connection. It’s less of a magical infatuation and more of a miracle from God.

Afterwards, I took her to the airport to fly out. I dropped her at the curb and then went to find a parking spot. When I finally reached the ticket counter she motioned me to come over so that she could tell me her flight was postponed three hours. My response was,“Yipee!” We even looked at moving it back an extra day or two but that didn’t work out. At least we had a few more hours together. We drove back down to the Gaslamp District and walked around a bit, enjoyed watching some ice skating and got chair massages. In all honesty we were both drained by that time- emotionally, intellectually and physically. I dropped her off at the airport to catch her midnight flight and I set off to return back to Hemet. I was looking for a place to refuel while I waited for her call to tell me she made it through security and her flight was not delayed again. As I was looking for a gas station she called, so I pulled off the highway at the next exit to talk to her, but there was no gas station. After she called the 2^nd time, I picked up the phone and dialed her back, anxious to hear the news. As I was sitting at a red light, I put the phone to my ear and looked to my side where I saw a police officer staring right at me. I put the phone down immediately, even before it connected. As soon as the light turned green, the police car’s lights turned red. When I got home I looked up the amount of my fine for talking on a cell phone while driving. It turns out to be $76 which, interestingly enough, is the same year we were both born (1976). Coincidence?

So she is now back in Portland and we will be apart for the next week which is probably a good thing. The past 11 days have been incredible, but also really intense. I don’t think we realized it until that last night together. It was kind of like extreme dating, being around each other pretty much 24/7 for 9 of the last 11 days, except when we were sleeping. As fun as it was and as easy as everything seemed to fit together, it was also draining emotionally, intellectually and physically. Neither of us would trade it for anything in the world though.
I will be visiting Portland December 3-17. We already have plans to do some pre-marital counseling and to go shopping for an engagement ring. Then I will come back home for a week before joining her at her parent’s house in Pennsylvania on Christmas Eve up until the time I fly out to Kenya on December 30. She will hopefully be coming to Uganda for work next March and then will spend some time in Kenya after she finishes. We have already begun discussing marriage and life after. There could be a wedding on the horizon early next summer and we will start our lives together in Mbita, Kenya.  

The story is absolutely amazing how God has orchestrated all of these events to bring us together in His perfect timing. If it would have happened 5 or 10 years ago, it probably wouldn’t have worked out, but right now it just seems like the a Cinderella Story. I was able to meet her at the end of my furlough which gave me more time to get to know her (especially with this extra month now). And she has been in a bit of transition since returning from Uganda over a year ago, and then moving to Portland to take a new job. 

Daneen is an incredible woman. She loves the Lord and has an intimate growing relationship with Him! She is so personable and warm. She has a fun personality and loves having a good time, making me laugh and laughing at my stupid jokes. She seems to know how to fit in to almost any situation with big groups or small groups, young people or old people, church groups or secular groups, America or Africa. She lives her whole life with passion. She is very intelligent (I mentioned earlier that she was a Rocket Scientist). She is very simple and doesn’t need much, but appreciates whatever she does have. She is very affectionate with her touch and very encouraging with her words. Even though she is independent, a natural born leader and likes to plan and organize things, she has allowed me to lead in the relationship. She shows me much respect and honor as the man and is comfortable following my lead. I really love that and I feel that it speaks volumes about her character. She has maintained strong relationships with her friends from college, her work life, her time in Africa and many other aspects of her life. That also shows the depths of her character. And finally, she is more than beautiful. Her golden blonde hair glistens in the sun. She has the athletic body of a gymnast (which she was) and her smile can light up the darkest places in the world. I get lost while gazing in her eyes and the feel of her soft skin is a taste of heaven. She has added a lot of spice to my boring life.

I am so excited about what lies ahead. It is a partnership and companionship; sharing our lives together. Building “our” home and creating “our”ministry together. I have told her that I don’t know what our future holds or where we will live or what we will be doing, but I know we will be doing it together. God has provided for us and guided both of us individually for so long and has now begun guiding us together in His perfect timing. Ten years ago neither one of us would have dreamed we would be doing what we are doing right now. She was following her dream to be an astronaut while I was following my dream to be a college basketball coach. God changed those dreams for both of us and gave us a new direction in life. Now he is fulfilling our wildest dreams of finding someone special to share our lives with. God has used us individually to do great things to advance His kingdom in the past 10 years, and I can’t even imagine the things he has in store for us to do together. Two are better than one! Satan is worried and we need your prayers more than ever at this time!

Thanks for being a part of “Our Modern Day Love Story Orchestrated by God.”