I didn't include the following story in my last e-mail update, but it was something that triggered many of those thoughts about all of the pregnancies of primary schools girls in our district. In fact I found out on Friday that out of all the girls that begin 1st grade in the district, only 60% will finish primary school (most of those that do finish will fail their national exams) and only 30% will actually finish secondary school. Those odds don't bode well for girls in this area.
The childhood pregnancies hit me very close to home when I discovered that one of the girls in our football club was pregnant. The reason the club started was to use football as a means to impact the lives of these girls in different areas (academically, spiritually, etc.) We want to help them avoid those things and make wise decisions that will help to build their futures. There are over 40 girls associated with the club, but this one incident brought me to tears.
I have coached "Christina" for over three years and she absolutely loves to play football. She has boundless energy on and off the field and eats and breathes football. She is one of the few players that knows all of the top players in the world, follows certain clubs like Man U, and watches games on TV. She never missed a training session, game or tournament. She was always the first one on the field. During our matches, people would accuse her of being a boy (I convinced her that was a great compliment). In fact in January we named her one of our team captains. Along with her great ability and work ethic, she was also very disciplined, respectful and honest.
This year several of us noticed she was gaining weight, but we just thought it was a normal 14 year old going through puberty. Her energy level went way down and she wasn't playing the same way she used to. Then one time in April she didn't show up for a tournament and then missed a training weekend without calling. I guess I am naive but I never in a million years would have thought she was pregnant. She is only 14 and has always been such a good girl. She was the last one in the club that I would have expected. But when one of her teammates came and told me they suspected it, then I put all the pieces together. Heartbreaking.
So during half-term br
eak this week at CGA, I was able to travel by boat taxi to Mfangano Island to visit her home. After a 2.5 hour boat ride and a 1.5 hour hike up a mountain and then back down into a valley, we arrived at their home and found her widowed mother cooking lunch for her 7 children. Christina saw us and smiled and ran to greet us (which was a relief because I was afraid she might run away when she saw us). Another club official and I went into the tiny mud hut and she came and talked with us as the others prepared some tea and roasted maize to serve us. Christina was visibly pregnant, but insisted she was not and those were just rumors going around. She made up many stories and even stood up and allowed me to feel her stomach (which is very uncultural), but it was obvious the stomach was very swollen. She made up stories of being sick, even though the clinic couldn't diagnose the problem which forced them to to the traditional healers (medicine men).
I was dumbstruck because she was totally denying being pregnant and I didn't know what to say. Fortunately, the mother came in and confirmed that she was pregnant. After the cat was out of the bag, Christina opened up and shared how it happened. Her aunt had been sick on another part of the island and so the mother sent Christina to live with the Aunt for around 8 months to help fetch water from the lake and to cook for her. The aunt's condition got worse and she went to Nairobi to the hosp
ital so Christina was left there but there wasn't really any concerned adults around and she got involved with a boy from her school. The reason she was lying and hiding from it was because she felt so bad that she let us down and she knew we had trusted her so much and put a lot of confidence in her when we named her a captain earlier this year. Her mother even said Christina has been talking about committing suicide and that the girl has been so depressed for the past 3 months.
We had a good counselling session with her and let her know that God's love never changes for us and that our club officials still love her the same as we used to. We discussed God's grace and how all of us are sinners which is why Jesus gave his life on the cross. We looked at several scriptures and prayed together. After talking she just seemed like the old Christina that we all love so much. I think it was very good for her and for us. She has a long road ahead as she gives birth in Aug/Sep and then will try to return to school and finish her primary school education in the next couple of years. She needs a lot of prayers.
The childhood pregnancies hit me very close to home when I discovered that one of the girls in our football club was pregnant. The reason the club started was to use football as a means to impact the lives of these girls in different areas (academically, spiritually, etc.) We want to help them avoid those things and make wise decisions that will help to build their futures. There are over 40 girls associated with the club, but this one incident brought me to tears.
I have coached "Christina" for over three years and she absolutely loves to play football. She has boundless energy on and off the field and eats and breathes football. She is one of the few players that knows all of the top players in the world, follows certain clubs like Man U, and watches games on TV. She never missed a training session, game or tournament. She was always the first one on the field. During our matches, people would accuse her of being a boy (I convinced her that was a great compliment). In fact in January we named her one of our team captains. Along with her great ability and work ethic, she was also very disciplined, respectful and honest.
This year several of us noticed she was gaining weight, but we just thought it was a normal 14 year old going through puberty. Her energy level went way down and she wasn't playing the same way she used to. Then one time in April she didn't show up for a tournament and then missed a training weekend without calling. I guess I am naive but I never in a million years would have thought she was pregnant. She is only 14 and has always been such a good girl. She was the last one in the club that I would have expected. But when one of her teammates came and told me they suspected it, then I put all the pieces together. Heartbreaking.
So during half-term br
eak this week at CGA, I was able to travel by boat taxi to Mfangano Island to visit her home. After a 2.5 hour boat ride and a 1.5 hour hike up a mountain and then back down into a valley, we arrived at their home and found her widowed mother cooking lunch for her 7 children. Christina saw us and smiled and ran to greet us (which was a relief because I was afraid she might run away when she saw us). Another club official and I went into the tiny mud hut and she came and talked with us as the others prepared some tea and roasted maize to serve us. Christina was visibly pregnant, but insisted she was not and those were just rumors going around. She made up many stories and even stood up and allowed me to feel her stomach (which is very uncultural), but it was obvious the stomach was very swollen. She made up stories of being sick, even though the clinic couldn't diagnose the problem which forced them to to the traditional healers (medicine men).I was dumbstruck because she was totally denying being pregnant and I didn't know what to say. Fortunately, the mother came in and confirmed that she was pregnant. After the cat was out of the bag, Christina opened up and shared how it happened. Her aunt had been sick on another part of the island and so the mother sent Christina to live with the Aunt for around 8 months to help fetch water from the lake and to cook for her. The aunt's condition got worse and she went to Nairobi to the hosp
ital so Christina was left there but there wasn't really any concerned adults around and she got involved with a boy from her school. The reason she was lying and hiding from it was because she felt so bad that she let us down and she knew we had trusted her so much and put a lot of confidence in her when we named her a captain earlier this year. Her mother even said Christina has been talking about committing suicide and that the girl has been so depressed for the past 3 months.We had a good counselling session with her and let her know that God's love never changes for us and that our club officials still love her the same as we used to. We discussed God's grace and how all of us are sinners which is why Jesus gave his life on the cross. We looked at several scriptures and prayed together. After talking she just seemed like the old Christina that we all love so much. I think it was very good for her and for us. She has a long road ahead as she gives birth in Aug/Sep and then will try to return to school and finish her primary school education in the next couple of years. She needs a lot of prayers.
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1 comment:
Oh Joe, I cried when I read this. I can only think of what it was like to be pregnany with my own child and how scary it is. My heart hurts deeply for this very young girl and all that she is facing and is going to face. I will be praying for her, her future, the baby's future and the other young girls in the district.
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