Lessons Learned the Hard Way

When a string of bad things happen to me, I usually look at my life to see if there is somewhere I have gone astray. Is there unconfessed sin that needs to be dealt with? Am I following God’s Ways?

Spiritually, my time in the states was very good. I had many fruitful and enriching personal times with the Lord. I also had great fellowship with old friends, new friends and my family. But in the last week leading up to my departure I got really busy with saying goodbyes, packing and preparing to return. My focus definitely shifted from the Lord onto myself. I had planned everything out and was relying on my own ability to do it. When I first came to Kenya five years ago, I felt so out of place and everything seemed different and difficult. I found myself continually relying on God for everything. I was turning to him for every decision. I was weak. The longer I stay here, the more comfortable I feel and the more I depend on myself.

Coming back to Kenya this time, I don’t think I was in the right state of mind. I wasn’t depending on God and looking to him. The car issues and the sickness reminded me that I can’t do it on my own. I still need God on a daily basis. I realized that my spiritual preparation was even more important than my work or what I needed to pack to bring back or any other thing. The five days I spent at the Galat House at Tenwek helped to get me back on track. I was sick and not feeling well so I was trying to rest. I had extra time to spend in prayer and reading. I fixed my thoughts back on Jesus again.

I need to be reminded daily to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6